Wednesday, August 13, 2008

bless me readers, for i have sinned



i admit it. this summer i've avoided this blog like the plague. i've been busy - there have been an awful lot of weddings. and shenanigans here at bex hq [thank you kim for getting me into so much trouble. no, really. thank you. and yes, it's your turn to take out the recycling.]. and work. and for awhile there i was dating this boy. we're not going to talk about that. but it was fun.

but now here's where the confession hurts: i'm cheating on heidi klum.

heidi, let me just start by saying that i love you. i think you are the most beautiful, well-spoken, calming angel to ever grace the air waves. and that's counting my girl marilu henner in taxi, any of charlie's angels, any of the designing women, and portia from arrested development. that's right. i said it.

but this season of project runway is leaving me a little...cold. i don't know if this happened to me every previous season - needing some more time to really bond with the designers - or if this is a new thing particular to this season's group of "up-and-comers". i put that in quotes because i sort of feel as though they're playing at being designers.

now before someone comes and beats me with some pinking shears, i'd like to say that obviously i can't do anything close to what these folks do. i can't hem pants. i can barely sew a button onto a shirt. but these folks seem more interested in the drama and their own outfits and...rhetoric...than the challenges heidi presents to them.

now, maybe it's because i know this is the last season on bravo and i'm going to have to truck over to lifetime to get my tim gunn fix. and maybe it's the new time. [though 9 pm on a wednesday is thoroughly respectable.] but everyone - and i mean from tim on down the line to michael kors - seems a little...drab. the energy's flagged. it feels phoned in.

and i know phoned in. i do it 87% of the week at work. it's not pretty. but the difference is that i'm not on tv with my own realty show [oh wouldn't that be grand].

i'd like someone to just sort of pop off the screen this season of project runway, but nobody's doing it. i think blaine's supposed to be this season's wacky eccentric, but he's not effervescent enough. he seems...typical. is it because i'm from a beach town in florida? because i'm a surfer girl who's got friends with better tans and blonder hair who hungover have more positive and alluring energy than these cats do?

so i'm cheating on heidi. i watch her, faithfully, like a good viewer/fan does, but i'm not invested like i used to be. and to be honest, my attention has shifted a another angel. and these people deliver. i've got too many favorites - how do i vote for just one?

and as [i'll repeat myself] a surfer girl turned office brat, i'm always wondering what to do with my hair...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

you must go here:

people people people.

do yourselves a favor and check out dr horrible's sing-along blog. it's amazing. it's magical. neil patrick harris makes me swoon like nobody else in this solar system.

Friday, April 4, 2008

souveniers, popcorn, caramel corn, coke! ice cold lemonade!

Would-Be Yankees Bunting Thieves Admit Stupidity

2008_03_foul.JPGThe middle-aged men who tried to steal the Yankees' opening day bunting from an upper deck agree their actions were "stupid" but hope the Yankees drop charges.

Keith O'Rourke, 39, and John Bunjaporte, 41, were arrested on Tuesday night and the Yankees organization, seeking to make them an example of intolerable fan behavior, said they would revoke their season tickets. However, the pair bought the tickets from a scalper, so now the Yankees are still considering what they'll do with the real season-ticket holder (who had sold them to the scalper).

O'Rourke told the Post he saw the bunting was fastened by a screw, so he and Bunjaporte "started to unscrew it, and we looked at one another and said, 'Wait, this is stupid.'" Even though one security guard let them go (because they said they weren't taking the bunting), another guard and a cop took them in.

Bunjaporte said, "I understand, because it was stupid, but come on, relax a little bit. I just wanted a souvenir." But Yankees COO Lonn Trost will not relax, though, "We have a whole year to get through. We're concerned that this will become an epidemic of petty theft." Yeah, and they should worry that when they go to Boston, a hawk will attack A-Rod, because that's what a hawk at Fenway did to a girl named Alexa Rodriguez.

courtesy of

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

esteban, child of the sun

wyatt and i used to race home in order to watch the mysterious cities of gold on tv. is it only a florida thing? i mentioned it in a meeting yesterday and everyone stared at me blankly.

one of the posts on this clip from youtube says that the english language version will be released sometime this year.

i smell christmas gift!


Tuesday, April 1, 2008


alright folks.

while i quietly weep in my office because i can not go to the yankee home opener with kim today [stupid client meeting] i present you bjork's newest video from the volta album: wanderlust.

sit back, do NOT take the acid, and enjoy.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

it's deja vu all over again

so the networks are starting to announce new show line-ups and returning shows.

below are some of the USA Network's new shows. i could swear i've seen these before...

White Color (wt) - about a con man who escapes from prison and after being caught becomes a consultant to catch other criminals. From Fox Television Studios.
wasn't this an elmore leonard book? or a movie starring john travolta with a bad new york accent?

Royal Pains (wt) - a young doctor becomes a concierge doctor to the rich.
ok i definately have seen this one before. except in reverse! it's called DOC HOLLYWOOD. and it starred alex p. keaton.

Shirleyville - young soldier after returning home from Afghanistan becomes mayor of his town.
while i applaud each and every way we can tell soldiers' stories who were changed by events in the middle east, i feel like this...might not be it. this reeks of Welcome to Mooseport.\

The Nanny Files - young nanny hired by a police chief starts to solve cases by using her network of other nannies, dog walkers, gardeners and neighbors.
Harriet the Spy, Nancy Drew, The Mod Squad, Trixie Beldon, oh i could go on and on and on. is anyone else bored of nannies?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008



let's see. what can happen in under 30 days, you ask? well, i'll tell ya:

1. my roommate left. which is fine. it's great actually. she nearly killed stavros, she nearly killed herself, and subsequently i nearly killed her. remember that horrible movie starring mark paul "zack morris" gosselaar - dead man on campus? the one where he tries to find a roommate 'on the verge' of suicide so as to cement an a for the semester? yeah, well, point: my roommate nearly got shoved off the fire escape.

but she left. she and her weird co-dependent boyfriend moved out. which means:

2. stavros is ok. dear people: cats do not drink vodka. cats do not drink vodka nor do they get their own bean and cheese burrito, no matter how small you make it. my poor cat. he'll never be able to see a taco bell or chilis commercial without twitching slightly. seriously, no vodka people. NO VODKA FOR THE KITTIES.

3. i already have a new roommate: the fabulastic kim kennedy. i know! amazing! and fun! and trouble! but what, you may be asking, happened to kim's other living situation? the one in brooklyn? with her super cute roommate? the one who seemed to have a certain special love for kim?

after approximately 8 months of breakfasts in bed and snuggles on the couch, captain romanti-roommate turned into lieutenant douchebag. so my evil roommate did her vodka/stavros routine the same week that kim's roomtard explained to her that while they'd been having a lovely affair for nearly a year - and living together in what seemed to be domestic tranquility - that they were in fact just roommates and he would be bringing home girls whenever he felt like it. the implication being that when he didn't feel like it, he'd expect his side of kim's bed available to him.

so kim moved in. i mean, sure the apartment's a bit smaller than her old one, but she's now kicking it east village style. yay kim! it's very exciting. i now have someone to share my tv watching fully with.

also, she's got almost as many flip flops as i do.

also, she loves the yankees like a junkie loves drugs.

also, she's obsessively clean like i am. for example: i cleaned her room like crazy after crazy-town moved out [the day before kim moved in]. when kim got to the apartment, we moved all her boxes in and then she cleaned the room again! was i offended? nope. she just wanted to clean again. this place is going to be sparkling. this will most likely offend stavros, because he enjoys a good dust ball/toy as much as the next guy. he's going to have to learn to love the balls-with-bells that santa gave him in his stocking.

4. kim switched jobs. so this move is good because now that we're at different companies, we'll still see each other every day as roommates. HOORAY.

i will write about the new season of the bachelor [london calling] and another crop of 25 year old events planners looking for faux love, rock of love: 2, and high school reunion at a later date.


Sunday, February 24, 2008

well i partied like a fat baby

it's a beautiful day in new york today!

i got back from a quick trip down home and worried as the plane started it's landing turn that i'd sink into some pretty massive Seasonal Affected Disorder [my favorite disorder to suffer from because it's a fairly self-explanatory affliction. namely "this gloomy weather makes me feel sad. because i have SAD."] but today's super sunny clear skies and crisp weather makes me happy i moved above the mason dixon line.

ok granted the entire time i was home and on the beach [and i did some surfing even though the water was pretty chilly] i kept saying to my friends who were smart enough to settle for life in small town florida in order to keep surfing, "man, you guys did it right!" and i meant it. for those of us who aren't necessarily big city kids, it's a tough fence to straddle; do i want to stay here for this goal i'm not sure i want? will moving back to small beach town florida [aka giving up] make me happier or is it just different yet comforting?

ech. enough esoteric self-indulgent babbling on only one coffee!

last night we saw a fabulous band play and you should check them out. folks receiving these postcards, i'd like to introduce you to lt marscapone

they're fun, they're rockin' and they're all cute, which is, we all know, very important. as my mother kindly pointed out at one point "we all thought mick jagger was hot, you know. i mean super hot. i didn't care that he made out with david bowie. david bowie's hot, too. who wants to watch ugly people?"

thank you, mom. words of wisdom, right there.

so yeah, in the bottom floor of fat baby, we rocked out while these guys sang their hearts out [and, um, good use of tambourine and pianica, there!] check them out at their next show. we got pins! we signed up for the mailing list! we screamed like teenagers at a matchbox 20 show.

i promise you won't be disappointed.

and lest you think i've forgotten your forbidden love for bret michaels: Blog

you're welcome.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

all the news that's fit to?

answer me THIS, jacksonville:

do YOUR news anchors dance for you on fridays?

i thought not.

damn but i love this city.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

could you describe the ruckus, sir?

so we did get into some trouble, we three kids growing up in new smyrna beach. we threw a few parties that we shouldn't have, went to a few parties we shouldn't have, ran from the cops when we shouldn't have, but we NEVER got interviewed for it!

oh, those aussies. they're so good at...stuff.

Funny Kid Isnt Sorry About Huge Party - Watch more free videos

Monday, January 14, 2008

why i love new york

let me rock your world

it's that time again. time again for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels TWO! another chance to irrationally believe that he's a normal person just looking for love like the rest of us. another chance to marvel at the caliber of "rocker" chicks. another chance to turn my brain off and continue my apparent unending well of hatred for the song every rose has its thorn.

oh, bret michaels. oh how you slay me.

ok, admittedly i can sing all the words to unskinny bop. admittedly this is not something to brag about. but you know what? i kinda of like him. i mean, as a trashy reality show helmsman, he's kinda sympathetic. do i want to date him - sorry! hang out in the house and continue to rock his world? - um, thank you, no. no, no and no. but would i be opposed to hanging out with him? not really. i'll drive crazy dune buggies around with the dude. he seems kinda down-to-earth. he has pretty pretty hair. he could teach me how to tie a bandana so that i no longer look like i just left the shtetl.

and, please, how can you not love these women?

my co-worker and i had a ten minute discussion on who is scarier: skanky white faux rocker hos or skanky black faux hip-hop hos from flavor of love? there's no litmus test. just not one. i'm sure that scientifically, we can figure out which group is scarier, or sadder, or more in need of morale-boosting that doesn't involve compliments about their enhanced-boobs, but i don't know what that scientific equation would entail.

you know you watched. you know you did. and you loved it. admit it!