dear sleazy man,
just because you are wearing a suit and have your sunglasses on inside does not mean that i want you to stand alarmingly close to me while we are in line at the sandwich place at lunch time.
just because it is a gorgeous day and i am obviously sick from my death cold and thus buying a minestrone soup and apple juice does not mean that you can leer at me and slide so close to me that you might as well just jump into the back pocket of my pants and say in this horrifyingly wet voice "a little hot for soup, isn't it?" so that i fear that your spit is in my hair.
just because i said "oh, excuse me, please" as i tried to move away from the counter but barely could because you were attempting to claim my personal space as your own does not mean that you can put your hand on my arm as though to assist me in walking - something i do every day.
but DO note that i ground my heel into your shoe because you would not MOVE THE FRICK AWAY FROM ME when i tried to get my change from the cashier. MY SPACE IS NOT YOUR SPACE.
if you think i'm pretty, thank you. i appreciate that. i don't feel pretty because i have the death cold. which you now have all over you because you were in my personal bubble. enjoy it. i hope you two live happily ever after. however, if you wish to let me know that you find me attractive, why don't you do so in an acceptable manner. smile. say 'hello'. heck, say 'i think you're pretty'. do not, i repeat, DO NOT stand so close to me! listen to the police. sting repeated that phrase about 62 times in that song. don't stand so close to me. you are skeevy. you are obviously a wanker. if i see you again, i'm going to step onto your other foot with my heels and then push you in front of a bus.
you need help.
and i need a nap.
Showing posts with label cold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cold. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
death cold
alright. apparently, i am terrible at timely and frequent blogging. but, in my defense, i am recovering from:
THE DEATH COLD
do you know what sucks more than having a cold? having a cold when the weather is finally nice enough to be outside and enjoying the sunshine. i lay out on the fire escape one day, propped up against the wall with our central park blanket and a box of kleenex and a hefty dose of dayquil. which, by the way, makes me unable to focus my eyes. the office culture for the job is such that they're pretty adamant about germs NOT being in the office, so it's really frowned upon for me to come in with a cold spewing germs around. which is nice. it's actually one of the only nice things about that place. so i managed to stay home and be ill. i'll probably make it back in tomorrow.
my roommate, bless her soul, is such a train wreck usually, but was super sweet and mothering. i think she just needs someone to need her. granted, some have suggested getting her her own pet, but i fear for the poor thing's life. she can barely remember that i have a cat.
but she brought me matzo ball soup, and there was always juice in the house, and the one night she came home drunk with some dude from some bar, she did come in and check on me while i was deliriously watching grosse point on my laptop. [you need to check out that show. the show, not the movie with john cusack. seriously. it's got some delightful moments. now, i'm not saying it's a freaks and geeks or even undeclared sort of situation, but do check it out. you'll thank me for it. unless you're my brother. and you moan the entire time and then hit me with a pillow until i have marks on my face.]
she's sweet, honestly. but i worry for her. granted, i'm 8 years older than she is, so much of the idiotic stuff she does makes me cringe for reasons beyond that it's idiotic cringe-worthy stuff. reasons like 'dear lord. was i like that when i was her age?' and 'jesus, mary and joseph. please tell me this is vastly different than when i was so drunk i fell down.'
we've all done stupid stuff, am i right? we've all gotten blind drunk, made out with someone we shouldn't have, or slept with someone we normally wouldn't have, or yelled things at a cop when we should know better...but somehow, i feel the danger more in her actions. the fact that she brings home these guys that she's met, into our apartment. maybe i've watched too much law and order and csi. maybe times have changed. maybe i wasn't as out-of-control as she seems to be. but i feel like i need to have a talk with her. not an intervention, because, really, she is young and she's allowed to get a little crazy, but a sort of 'i feel uncomfortable that you bring random men home to our house. they could rob us or kill us or something. and if you're ok with those odds, great, but i'm not and i pay the rent too so if you wouldn't mind not doing this until you live alone, i'd really appreciate it.' it's an awkward situation, when it shouldn't be. i'm under the impression that standing up for myself shouldn't be a bad thing. especially when it's not out of line.
oh. tea's ready. and i'm trying out actifed today, and it's time for another dose.
in this age of 'my life is my life' and exertion of our rights, when and where do we draw the compromise line in the sand?
THE DEATH COLD
do you know what sucks more than having a cold? having a cold when the weather is finally nice enough to be outside and enjoying the sunshine. i lay out on the fire escape one day, propped up against the wall with our central park blanket and a box of kleenex and a hefty dose of dayquil. which, by the way, makes me unable to focus my eyes. the office culture for the job is such that they're pretty adamant about germs NOT being in the office, so it's really frowned upon for me to come in with a cold spewing germs around. which is nice. it's actually one of the only nice things about that place. so i managed to stay home and be ill. i'll probably make it back in tomorrow.
my roommate, bless her soul, is such a train wreck usually, but was super sweet and mothering. i think she just needs someone to need her. granted, some have suggested getting her her own pet, but i fear for the poor thing's life. she can barely remember that i have a cat.
but she brought me matzo ball soup, and there was always juice in the house, and the one night she came home drunk with some dude from some bar, she did come in and check on me while i was deliriously watching grosse point on my laptop. [you need to check out that show. the show, not the movie with john cusack. seriously. it's got some delightful moments. now, i'm not saying it's a freaks and geeks or even undeclared sort of situation, but do check it out. you'll thank me for it. unless you're my brother. and you moan the entire time and then hit me with a pillow until i have marks on my face.]
she's sweet, honestly. but i worry for her. granted, i'm 8 years older than she is, so much of the idiotic stuff she does makes me cringe for reasons beyond that it's idiotic cringe-worthy stuff. reasons like 'dear lord. was i like that when i was her age?' and 'jesus, mary and joseph. please tell me this is vastly different than when i was so drunk i fell down.'
we've all done stupid stuff, am i right? we've all gotten blind drunk, made out with someone we shouldn't have, or slept with someone we normally wouldn't have, or yelled things at a cop when we should know better...but somehow, i feel the danger more in her actions. the fact that she brings home these guys that she's met, into our apartment. maybe i've watched too much law and order and csi. maybe times have changed. maybe i wasn't as out-of-control as she seems to be. but i feel like i need to have a talk with her. not an intervention, because, really, she is young and she's allowed to get a little crazy, but a sort of 'i feel uncomfortable that you bring random men home to our house. they could rob us or kill us or something. and if you're ok with those odds, great, but i'm not and i pay the rent too so if you wouldn't mind not doing this until you live alone, i'd really appreciate it.' it's an awkward situation, when it shouldn't be. i'm under the impression that standing up for myself shouldn't be a bad thing. especially when it's not out of line.
oh. tea's ready. and i'm trying out actifed today, and it's time for another dose.
in this age of 'my life is my life' and exertion of our rights, when and where do we draw the compromise line in the sand?
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